One phrase. “You’ve changed.”
Has this been said or thought about you? Or have you said or thought this about someone else? The answer is likely yes.
A lovely girl I know shared a video on her instagram story the other day. It said the following:
Coming back home from a long travel abroad can be HARD … you developed, you learned, you are different inside. and you need to find your place within this old new home again.
I believe that certain experiences, events and time itself can change us.
I’m sure that you have heard about how many of us as humans fear change and can try to avoid it.
Many enjoy predictability and seek stability, which can look like continuity - continuity in our relationships, continuity in our career trajectories, continuity in our routines.
We can also be curious as human beings. And this curiosity can lead us to change things up - trying new options on menus, travelling to places we have never been, being open to new friendships and activities.
What happens though when we become different on the inside?
What happens when we feel that certain things about our lives no longer fit?
What happens when these things have been an ongoing source of predictability and stability? So much so that any break with the status quo seems like a betrayal.
I challenge us to ask ourselves - a betrayal of what? A betrayal of whom?
… resisting the necessary change that needs to happen in our lives is only a betrayal to ourselves.
While in Ghana, I indeed developed and learned new things about the world and my place within it. As a result, in many ways, I became both a new person but also a more authentic version of myself that had been waiting to emerge.
Being in a far away place was refreshing. It ignited my curiosities and reinvigorated my purpose.
For me, the change I experienced from the inside had to change my life from the outside also. I grew out of environments, mindsets and relationships. And I remember this feeling like a betrayal.
A betrayal to the people I thought wanted me to show up in a certain way.
Something I learned later on through a pastor and teacher was that a decision that is best for you, is not bad for another person. It may hurt someone’s feelings, but it doesn’t hurt their life. This has really helped me to see that resisting the necessary change that needs to happen in our lives is only a betrayal to ourselves.
The fear of disappointing others or receiving negative reactions from people can stop us from moving forward.
Some of us need to be reminded that through every moment we spend resisting the change that wants to take shape in our lives, we shorten the time that we get to live our lives in a way that honours who we truly are. And time is one of the most valuable resources we have.
adjoainghana is in many ways an expression of the parts of myself that I had been suppressing. And to me, starting this journey represents the beauty of what lies ahead of us when we embrace who we were created to be.
One thing I love about travel is how small it makes you feel. And small in a good way. Small in the sense that you become aware of your mortality. Your fragility. And through this, you become aware of the courage and bravery that you can nurture on the inside of you. If you don’t create the life you wish to live, then who will? If not now, when?
While there can be pain in endings, there can be beauty in new beginnings.
So I ask you, what parts of yourself have you suppressed in fear or are suppressing in fear?
I ask you, what changes in your life are trying to take place that you are resisting? What is causing this resistance? A fear of disappointing others? Receiving negative reactions from people? Or perhaps something else?
One thing I love about travel is how small it makes you feel. And small in a good way. Small in the sense that you become aware of your mortality. Your fragility. And through this, you become aware of the courage and bravery that you can nurture on the inside of you. If you don’t create the life you wish to live, then who will? If not now, when?
We are all going to go through necessary changes at some point. In fact, hopefully at several points along our journeys.
So perhaps we should see the phrase “you’ve changed” as a good indication that we are moving along a path of alignment.
Alignment with our authentic selves.
Alignment with our unique purpose.
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“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” | Isaiah 43:19
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