The secret

to everything you are looking for

If you are reading this I know you want to know the secret. And I want to share it with you through telling you about the time I was a model for a day in Ghana.

I had been contacted by the very talented photographer (who also became a friend) that took my picture at Afrochella which you may be familiar with (the profile picture for adjoainghana). He had a concept in mind and he sent it to me ahead of the shoot day. I remember looking at the inspiration pictures and thinking oh! this is not really what I had in mind. I expressed this but the photographer encouraged me to give it a try.

On the day of the shoot, my sister and I set off early in the morning, driving outside of the usual routes we traversed in Accra to reach the location of the studio. I had packed two outfits as requested. I should also mention that my sister is actually a professional model and she was doing a shoot with the photographer also.

We arrived at the studio and were greeted by our friend out the front. We went in and met other members of the photography team who would be helping out. There was even a makeup artist, the beautiful Ericca October who arrived a bit later and we ended up getting along so well, it felt like I had known her for ages. In fact I got along with the whole team so well, when I think back to that day I remember the lighthearted and warm energy that each person brought. Good company is truly good for the soul.

When it was my turn to shoot my pictures, I felt a bit tense.

The look we were going for called for serious and emotive facial expressions, but I just wasn’t able to channel that. Now I do love a good game face selfie but that day, I just wasn’t able to serve those looks.

We did get the shot we were looking for but I do think part of the reason why I wasn’t completely comfortable was because I had already formed a mental block which then reduced my confidence. The lesson in this for me was the importance of attitude. Believe you can do something and that can be enough. Believe you can’t and observe the difference.

But I think what really was stopping me from fully executing the shots was that I wanted to smile and laugh.

I know a lot of my reflections so far have been about getting outside of one’s comfort zone and making difficult decisions in order to live more authentically. But this week, I want to talk about the importance of also recognising the times when it is necessary to go with what makes you feel at home. What makes you feel true to who you are.

And this is the secret that I wanted to share with you.

I would say most of us are looking for something or multiple things that will enhance our lives in some way or another. And this is okay but we should not underestimate the resources and opportunities that are already available to us by simply being who we are.

As the photo shoot progressed, I began to get a bit frustrated which my friend can attest to and I expressed that I would prefer if I could smile. My friend could sense that he needed to give me the space to do the facial expressions and poses that made me feel true to who I was in that moment. So we switched it up and I began smiling and laughing. And the final result …

When I looked at a few previews of the photos, I saw that I looked my best because I was doing what I knew how to do best - be myself.

Photos by Agyeman-Duah 2023, Ghana. You can find him and his incredible work @agyeman_duah_ on instagram 🇬🇭.

There are a lot of calls in the current times to up skill, to diversify, to become more “profitable”. And while it is important to refine our skills and expand our knowledge base, we shouldn’t lose sight of the very things that make us unique.

That passion you have inside of you for whatever it is that makes you feel alive, that gives you a sense of a hope, that comes with a sense of ease despite the time or focus it may require has been placed in you for a reason. Don’t let it fall by the wayside.

It may take second place to other priorities and responsibilities you have at the moment but see if there are ways that you can bring your passions and things that come naturally to you into your daily life.

You are the secret ingredient and you plus your unique passions and talents form the secret recipe to finding everything you are looking for.

We can be tempted to change important parts of ourselves to be more liked by others or seemingly more valuable. And I think a big consideration here is a real fear of being rejected if we show up in the world as who we truly are. I have definitely done this, but I am learning that this does us a great disservice.

The secret to everything you are looking for will not be found in being more like everyone else. The secret to everything you are looking for will be found in being your authentic self.

So rejection is truly redirection toward the life that was designed for you.

I had a friend send me a video on rejection last week and the lessons from it were really powerful that I want to devote more time to ponder on what I learnt so that I can write some reflections to share with you.

Now that you know the secret to everything you are looking for, I want us to really go within ourselves and think about the following questions over this week (allow yourself to answer freely):

☁️ what are my top 3 values in life?

☁️ what are 3 passions or interests I have?

☁️ what are 2-3 things that I do really well and also seem to come naturally?

☁️ does my daily life align with my answers from the questions above? If my answer is no or partly no, why is that?

I think we should think about all the questions, but if you want to focus on one, I’d say the third one because it can help you in your search for meaning and fulfilment in life.

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Q&A Update

If you are following the @adjoainghana instagram page, you would have seen that there is an upcoming Q&A video that will answer questions that were sent in from instagram. Thank you to everyone who sent in questions. This video will be exclusive for adjoainghana substack subscribers. Stay tuned 🧡.

Keep in touch

Look out for this week’s weekly discussion thread if you want to chat further & if you want to see more content from Ghana follow @adjoainghana (by request. kindly dm that you are coming from the adjoainghana newsletter.)

If you would like to swap notes, thoughts or experiences, you are welcome to get in touch.

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