It is almost the end of the week. I hope that whatever your week has looked like, you can unwind here for a few moments.
People-pleasing is something I have struggled with and still experience to this day. This awareness has helped me to get better at recognising when it arises and learning how to avoid people-pleasing in future situations.
So, I’d like to ask you, how do you avoid people-pleasing?
I definitely still struggle with this but what really helped me is to understand the matter of my heart. I realised when I “people pleased” I ended up resenting this people because I know I went against my gut. So in short, I’ve learned to stand firm on my gut feeling, even if I don’t outwardly say no (because that’s my struggle), I will find a way to avoid resentment.
Understanding the matter of my heart - I have never thought of it like this before. Standing firm is not easy but it is definitely the best decision we can make for our hearts and minds. Thank you for sharing Vanessa 🧡!
By meditating on God’s word. To be honest clarity of one’s God-given purpose helps us see our value, and once we know our value we won’t indulge in anything that will devalue us in order to please people. So yes, in summary knowing our value. That we are immensely valuable in God’s eyes. 🙏🏽✨
Thank you so much Dela for sharing this. What a reminder! "Clarity of one's God-given purpose." And that part about knowing our value. So much we can draw from this 🧡.
I've come across some really good talks on this topic of people-pleasing as well as quotes and one thought I've drawn from among these many resources is that people-pleasing is dishonest. Dishonest to ourselves. And dishonest to others. Quite confronting! But I thought this was a very good way of helping us to see that the short-term "benefit" of avoiding discomfort is actually a mirage. And the costs to us end up being much greater and so a "no" or a decision to not engage with a request that is not aligned is actually worth it. I also once was told by someone that if you're fearful of doing something (like saying no), countdown from 3 and then act in your best interests (e.g. say no).
I definitely still struggle with this but what really helped me is to understand the matter of my heart. I realised when I “people pleased” I ended up resenting this people because I know I went against my gut. So in short, I’ve learned to stand firm on my gut feeling, even if I don’t outwardly say no (because that’s my struggle), I will find a way to avoid resentment.
Understanding the matter of my heart - I have never thought of it like this before. Standing firm is not easy but it is definitely the best decision we can make for our hearts and minds. Thank you for sharing Vanessa 🧡!
By meditating on God’s word. To be honest clarity of one’s God-given purpose helps us see our value, and once we know our value we won’t indulge in anything that will devalue us in order to please people. So yes, in summary knowing our value. That we are immensely valuable in God’s eyes. 🙏🏽✨
Thank you so much Dela for sharing this. What a reminder! "Clarity of one's God-given purpose." And that part about knowing our value. So much we can draw from this 🧡.
I've come across some really good talks on this topic of people-pleasing as well as quotes and one thought I've drawn from among these many resources is that people-pleasing is dishonest. Dishonest to ourselves. And dishonest to others. Quite confronting! But I thought this was a very good way of helping us to see that the short-term "benefit" of avoiding discomfort is actually a mirage. And the costs to us end up being much greater and so a "no" or a decision to not engage with a request that is not aligned is actually worth it. I also once was told by someone that if you're fearful of doing something (like saying no), countdown from 3 and then act in your best interests (e.g. say no).