goodbye 2023
the highs & lows
ADJOAINGHANA FAMILY … we made it (well almost) to the end of 2023 🎊!
Depending on the year you have had, these final days of 2023 may feel more heavy than celebratory. The year may have taken a toll on you in some way - whether it be materially or mentally.
For those of you who are feeling heavy right now, know that you are not alone. I too am feeling that way. But what I do want to lovingly say to you is that we can still find a reason - even more than one - to feel gratitude as we draw closer to a fresh beginning.
I want to be very transparent about my lows here because I have learned over the years how to put on a happy face to the world when really I felt sad inside. In no particular order, my main 2023 lows were:
〰️ Dealing with loneliness after leaving a loving relationship in which I healed many parts of myself and found a lot of comfort and true companionship. I wondered many times, and still do even now, will I experience true love again? (I know this may sound like an exaggeration, which it is in some ways, but I know I’m not the only one so just saying it like it is).
〰️ Feeling hopeless in life and dealing with a prolonged period of sadness and numbness. I survived many days of not being able to see the light at the end of what was a dark tunnel. Having to at the same time show up to my various responsibilities added another layer of difficulty and pain. I want to thank those of you who know me on a personal level and who were so kind to offer a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. I also want to thank those of you who may not know me in my everyday life but who have tuned into the adjoainghana community, because you too offered me a safe space to share my experiences.
〰️ Grieving the loss of a version of myself that I no longer align with in this season of my life. I was working in the legal profession which I will always greatly respect and still do find so much intellectual stimulation in. However, I have a deep passion for community, especially the empowerment and wellbeing of young people, and Ghana. I felt called to leave what I was doing to be able to pursue those passions. It was a very hard decision to make and I talk about this in a recent video you can watch here. I found it difficult to accept the change I was undergoing in myself and with my priorities.
Now to the main highs of 2023 …
✧ Living in Ghana for 3+ months between 2022-2023. Adjoainghana is rooted in the life-changing experiences I encountered there. I found home, hope, love and purpose. Travel is a true gift and it expands our horizons and perspective. We see that our lives are about so much more than ourselves and we can even re-think our definition of success and what we need to lead a fulfilling life.
✧ I achieved a goal that was many, many years in the making - becoming a lawyer. It was an emotional moment for me because all the hard work truly did pay off. And I strongly encourage anyone who has some kind of professional goal to see it through to completion because achievement of the goal is not really the end. It is a beginning from which you can take many different paths, you need only keep an open mind and stay optimistic about what is possible.
✧ Being able to connect with you through the adjoainghana community. I used to see sharing my creativity and experiences as parts of myself that should be put on the back burner and suppressed - because there are other things I “should be doing.” Some of you have personally reached out, sharing how you can relate or find value in what is being shared. That has made me feel connected, supported and has helped me find belonging in being part of something bigger than myself and meaningful.
I hope that in sharing these highs and lows, you can create space and time to reflect on your own journey this year.
I think what is key to this exercise is compassion and honesty.
Compassion - being kind to yourself and not being overly hard on yourself for perceived losses or mistakes.
Honesty - taking accountability for where you find yourself and accepting what is in order to move forward.
A final word for anyone who is in the process of making plans for 2024 or making decisions about how and where to spend your energy …
I finished a small book, Still Together: Connection Through Meditation, written by meditation teacher Manoj Dias who writes:
Constantly ask yourself if your life reflects what you value most … How is the work you’re doing creating a life of meaning? Research suggests that those who prioritise meaning in their lives over happiness are more productive … In my experience, the thing that has created the most meaning is reflecting on how the work I do will help others or, more simply, how the work I do won’t create harm.
How can we create more meaning in our lives in 2024?
And finally finally. Forgiveness.
In a way that is appropriate and safe for your, forgive that person. For your sake and for the health of your 2024.
Sending you warm, virtual hugs!
Thank you so much for joining me here on this journey of authentic living in 2023. The blog is here to stay. You are always welcome here.
God willing, I will see you in 2024. I pray you find beauty in these final days of the year 🦋.
